45°
“So what?” he added. “Everybody has to face some tough times. That’s life. It’s not my problem!”
As his voice got louder, a young Indian woman reached over to try and tell him something.
He reacted with great irritation, pulling the phone from his ear just long enough to snap: “I’m having a conversation here. Do you mind?!”
She shrugged, backed off and looked at me with a sly grin.
Then she pointed upward.
And there they were.
Two obviously well-fed pigeons had perched on water pipes directly above Angry Man’s head. This kind woman was merely practicing the “See Something, Say Something” policy.
I quickly stepped away. Angry Man kept talking.
Pigeon #1 (I’ll call him Blueberry Boy for specific reasons) landed a perfect strike in the middle of the lawyer’s forehead.
Still not entirely aware of what just happened, the man wiped his brow with his free hand — and realized he’d just been guano-bombed.
“You are fortunate that you have no hair,” the woman said. “Easier to wipe off.”
Bob Michelin
Zing!
She giggled.
Furious now, the lawyer glared up at the feathered poop-artist — and kept yapping into the phone.
That’s when Pigeon #2 (Let’s call him Larry Bird) dropped one, mid-sentence, into his open mouth.
Nothin’ but net.
By this time, five or six eyewitnesses attracted by the commotion busted out laughing.
I offered my handkerchief (yes, I do carry one every day), but he chose to go into what can only be described as a dead-on impersonation of my lawn sprinkler.
So I gave him my bottle of water.
The lesson, as Casey Kassem would say, is: Keep your eyes to the sky and your feet on the ground. And always carry a hanky, my friends.
Be careful out there!
Bob Michelin, an account executive from Old Bridge, often rides the rails for his job. He also keeps his eyes and ears open — and his mouth closed.
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